The Root of All Evil 2
by virgofairy17
Summary: Root of All Evil does another episode after Twilight vs. Harry Potter. This one is TV vs. Video games hosted by Seto Kaiba and Beavis and Butt-head. Contains massive amounts of stupidity and Cornholio. Rated T for some language/suggestive things.


For those of you who have never seen or heard of Root of All Evil, it was a show on Comedy Central hosted by Lewis Black in 2008. It's no longer on Comedy Central and got canceled (like the beloved Chapelle Show. This debate is a cross over between the Yu-Gi-Oh! characters and Beavis and Butt-head.

Warning: This episode contains massive amounts of stupidity and tom-foolery. Enjoy!

**

* * *

Root of All Evil…2**

**This Week's Debate: TV vs. Video Games**

After the first showing of Root of All Evil, the producers decided to film another episode. But since the fiasco that was filmed in Esme's living room, the producers decided to take the show elsewhere.

After much heated debate as to where the location would be, they decided that Highland High School Gym would be the best place to film the show.

Beavis and Butt-head stumbled upon the set and gladly agreed to take part in the show where they would be debating against Seto Kaiba about the matters of TV and video games.

The gym at Highland High School was packed full of people, and the fan girls started to scream when Yugi Moto appeared at the podium.

"Um…I can't see. Can someone get me a step stool please?" Tea immediately ran backstage and fetched Yugi a step stool.

"Thanks. Now, can I have everyone settle down?" The fan girls continued to scream and Yugi sighed and Yami took over.

"Everyone settle down or I will mind crush you all!" Everyone became silent and Yami began.

"Well then, let's get this underway. Mr. Lewis Black was going to host this week, but at the last minute was forced to go to White Castle by Marik's millennium rod."

"You're welcome," Marik said completely pleased with himself.

Daria sighed. She didn't want to be dragged to this stupid assembly. Principal McVicker occasionally snuck in a sip of alcohol from his flask. He kept wondering to himself why he agreed to let these weird Japanese freaks film a TV show in his school.

"This week's debate is between two things I enjoy very much: TV and Video Games. To support the notion that TV is indeed the root of all evil, please help me welcome my archrival…Seto Kaiba."

Immediately all the cosplayers and fan-girls started screaming. Hell, even Joey was waving to Seto as he walked out on stage.

"Joey, what the hell are you doing?" Tristan said.

"I don't remember…uh…never mind." Joey was feeling awkward around Kaiba when he realized that he liked guys, mainly Seto Kaiba. He even dreamt about wearing the dog-suit while he had dream-sex with him. But he couldn't tell anyone that.

Seto stood there as his ego became over-inflated. The kids from Highland recognized him (mostly the nerds did) while the other kids and the teachers were still bored and confused as to what was going on.

Seto Kaiba took his place behind his podium and waited for his opponent to come out…whomever this person was.

"And supporting the notion that video games are the root of all evil, I give you…Beavis and Butt-head?"

Beavis and Butt-head came out as a couple of people clapped for them. Well, actually it was just their dorky friend Stewart and Mr. Van Driessen, their weird hippie teacher.

"Uh-huh-huh. Hey Beavis, check out the chicks." Butt-head instantly looked at Tea and she was immediately repulsed by this strange boy with an extremely large head, braces, and his grungy clothes.

"Yeah. We're gonna score after this," Beavis said.

"Welcome. Let's begin the debate: Which is the root of all evil? TV or video games?"

"Video games? I had a video game once where I had this hot chick dressed as a genie, and I would tell her where to go with the arrow, and then I rubbed this lamp to make her fly. It was pretty cool."

Butt-head whacked Beavis upside the head.

"Shut up butt munch! That game sucks!"

Yami sighed.

"As I was saying, Kaiba, you are up first."

"Whatever," he said. "You know the only reason I'm doing this show is to promote my company."

"Kaiba, just start," Yami said getting annoyed.

Seto cleared his throat and stood before the audience dressed in his usual white trench coat ensemble.

"Huh-huh. What a dork."

"Yeah. He's a dork," Beavis and Butt-head whispered.

"TV is the root of all evil because it poisons the minds of the young and makes them do stupid things. For example, yesterday my little brother Mokuba was watching Pokémon, and then next thing I knew he thought he _was_ a Pokémon. And a week later, he thought he was Serena from Sailor Moon and wanted me to buy him a Barbie Dream House! TV is a dangerous thing, I had take away sweets from him for an entire week! If you ask me, Mokuba's time as well as mine would be better spent testing out my new virtual video game that will be in Kaiba Land next year."

The fan girls screamed and a few students applauded his opening statement.

"Thank you Kaiba. Okay Beavis and Butt-head, tell us why video games are the root of all evil."

"What?" Butt-head was currently in the middle of staring at Tea's boobs, while Beavis was avidly picking his nose.

"Oh yeah…huh, huh."

Beavis took his finger out of his nose and snorted.

"Uh…video games suck!"

"Yeah. Like your Barbie game."

"Shut up fart knocker! That chick was awesome!"

Butt-head laughed and then spoke again.

"Uh…TV is awesome. We watch cool stuff. Like MTV, and hot chicks."

"Yeah! And explosions too!" Beavis then made exploding noises. "Yeah! Fire! Fire!"

"Settle down Beavis. We still have to tell them what's wrong with video games…or something."

"Oh yeah…uh…like that one game I have where I have all these people and I have to make them go to the bathroom, and eat, and then I trapped them in a house and set it on fire and stuff. It was pretty cool."

"You ignorant fools are wasting my time!" Seto said clearly getting annoyed with the two morons. "Yugi, we should end this debate already. Clearly these two have no evidence that video games are the root of all evil."

"Well then, I suppose we can go to a commercial then," Yami said sighing.

Bakura shut off the camera and Tristan came out for the first commercial.

"Tired of having lame and boring stuffed animals?"

Rebecca Hawkins came out and held up her teddy bear.

"My teddy bear was boring at first, so I took him to Build-a-Bear workshop! They gave him a voice, and now he can speak! Watch this!" Rebecca pulled the string and the teddy bear spoke.

"I like boobies!"

"This little girl is very happy now, and you can be too. All you have to do is stop by Build-a-Bear today and we'll make your best friend better, we can also make you a new best friend all together!"

Rebecca pulled the cord again, and the teddy bear spoke, "I just crapped myself! Somebody change me!"

"Okay, let's get back to the show!" Bakura announced. He turned the camera back on and gave Yami the thumbs-up to continue. Everyone began to applaud.

"Welcome back to the root of all evil! We are currently debating between TV and video games. Which is more evil? Well, as the show continues we'll find out. Since Kaiba took the floor first last time, we have decided to allow Beavis and Butt-head to go first."

Beavis and Butt-head stood behind the podium. Butt-head was still staring at Tea's boobs, but Beavis was displaying some very odd behavior. He was shaking and mumbling to himself, and he pulled the back of his shirt up over his head.

"I am the Great Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!"

"You've gotta be *bleep*-ing kidding me," Kaiba said with a heavy sigh.

"Do you have a bunghole?"

"Seriously Yugi, does this really have to continue?"

"Do you want to promote your company or not? Or, should I proceed to tell them about the yaoi-fanfic Tea wrote about you and a certain "mutt?"

Kaiba glared at Yami and then watched Beavis continue to ramble. He was now running around yelling.

"All hail the almighty bunghole!"

Butt-head just laughed.

"I am from Lake Titicaca! My people, we have but only one bunghole. But no TP. Do you have any TP? For my bungholio?"

"Uh yeah. Uh…what were we talking about again?"

Butt-head had lost focus on the debate, so he decided his time would be better spent making a move on some of the girls in the audience.

Tea Gardner was disgusted when he went up to her.

"Uh, huh-huh-huh. Hey baby, you like uh…come here often?"

Tea slapped him upside the head.

"Get away pervert!"

Yami sighed as he watched the two idiots walk around the area.

"Well, clearly they don't have an argument. Kaiba, you can continue with yours…"

"Yeah, whatever. As I was saying before the commercial-"

"Give me your TP!" Beavis popped up between Kaiba and his podium and Kaiba nearly freaked out.

"What the *bleep* are you *bleep*-ing doing? Security! Take this freak away from me this instant!"

Joey and Tristan were supposed to be "security" but decided it was too damn entertaining to watch Beavis (aka Cornholio) freak out Kaiba.

Mr. Van Driessen however, decided to take a different approach on this.

"Beavis, Butt-head? Do you two want extra credit for my class?"

"Uh…no," Butt-head answered.

"Look boys, if you finish this debate, I will give you both A's for the semester."

"Uh…really? Cool. Hey butt munch! Get over here! Let's finish this thingy."

Beavis was beginning to come out of his "Cornholio" phase and ran over to the podium, not the least bit exhausted.

"What? What's going on?"

"Uh…our hippie teacher is gonna give us an A if we like, uh, do this thingy…or something?"

"Heh, heh. Really? Cool."

Kaiba sighed and pounded his head against the podium as Beavis and Butt-head talked for a good ten minutes about their video games with explosions, hookers and exploding hookers, and finally Seto continued to give examples of how strongly the television had influenced Mokuba to do stupid things.

Meanwhile, Mokuba was at home watching a re-run of Beavis and Butt-head. His t-shirt was over his head, and piles of sugary snacks and soda bottles had been emptied out by him very quickly.

"I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!"

"Okay, let's take another commercial break. Then both sides can give their "Ripple of Evil" and then I'll give my "Final Verdict."

Yami was clearly exhausted, and so was Kaiba. Beavis and Butt-head appeared unphased. Some loud rock music was playing while they head-banged to it's loud, pulsating riffs.

"Duh! Duh! Duh-duh-duh-duh! Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh! Duh-duh! Duh-duh!

Todd, the big bully that Beavis and Butt-head admired was pounding the hell out of Stewart while Daria went up to give her commercial for extra-credit.

"Are you bored? Need a day of fun but can't afford it? Well come on down to Kaiba Land. With 35 rides and attractions this game-themed amusement park is the perfect place for all ages to have fun."

"Uh-huh-huh. Look Beavis. It's Diarrhea."

"Heh-heh. You said "diarrhea," Beavis said laughing. Daria simply ignored them and continued to drone on.

"Take a ride along the Dragon Coaster, Ride the Volcano, or play in our game arcade. We have the largest virtual arcade in all of Japan. Open seven days a week from May through September." Daria sighed and walked off stage, clearly annoyed by Beavis and Butt-head mocking her during her commercial.

"And we are back to the Root of all Evil. For those of you just tuning in, our debate is currently between television and video games. Kaiba, please tell us what would happen by giving us your "Ripple of Evil."

"Alright Yugi. But I don't think you're going to like it. If TV was allowed to run rampant, we will have kids everywhere glued to the TV so much that they will get fatter and fatter. They will become nothing but giant blobs of fat and wastes of space. Meanwhile the shows will get stupider and stupider, until we end up dumber than my two idiot opponents. Society will crumble and mankind will cease to exist."

"Uh…thank you Kaiba. Beavis and Butt-head. It's your turn."

"For what?"

"Yeah, for what?" Beavis said mimicking him.

"We want to know what will happen in the future if the evil that is "video games" goes unchecked."

"Aw yeah. Uh…ladies and gentlemen. If you keep playing video games…uh…"

"You'll get pimples on your butt," Butt-head interrupted.

"Yeah. And everyone will like, get stuck in the couch and stuff, and like throw their controllers at the TV, or something."

"Yeah, and we won't be doing that…because we'll be scoring with some hot chick with big thingies."

"Yeah. Big, big thingies!"

"And she's got tattoos on her butt."

"And she's really hot and doesn't suck! Yeah! Yeah!"

"I think that's quite enough," Yami interrupted. "But thank you, Beavis and Butt-head. Now that I have listened to your um…arguments. I will give my final verdict."

Everyone remained quiet for a minute and then Yami made his decision.

"Although I do understand that video games are violent and addicting, they do come from a TV. Therefore, TV is the Root of All Evil!"

Loud cheers erupted from the audience, while Beavis and Butt-head were completely oblivious to what had happened.

"I sentence TV to be burned at the stake, tortured brutally by Marik and Bakura and sent to the shadow realm for all eternity!"

Yugi found an old TV set and threw it into the audience, falling on top of Mr. Buzzcut, the gym teacher. While he screamed endless obscenities, Bakura and Marik smashed the TV set with hammers and sent it (along with Buzzcut) to the shadow realm.

"Uh…what just happened?" Beavis said confused.

"Uh…I don't know."

"You guys lost," Stewart said. "Too bad, it was a pretty good debate."

"Shut up Stewart."

"Yeah, shut up ass-wipe!" Beavis added.

Among all the chaos of TV smashing, Mai Valentine approached the two boys.

"I really enjoyed your debate. Would you boys like to come with me?"

"Uh…yeah…"

"Heh heh. Yeah."

Apparently they were at a loss for words. Mai led them out of the gym-the two teens still oblivious to what was going on.

As for the Root of All Evil show, it ended up being canceled after Lewis Black returned and now occasionally appears on Comedy Central in the form of re-runs.

* * *

Wow. And I thought I couldn't write another one of these, but I did. Thank you for reading, and for those of you who read the first one, thank you again. :)

As for a third episode, I don't think it'll happen anytime soon. But if you haven't read my first one, (Twilight vs. Harry Potter) you should-especially if you're a fan of both like I am. :D


End file.
